AI dating? No thanks Bumble, it’s a hellscape too far

Science fiction is becoming a reality, as artificial intelligence creeps further into our romantic lives.

Bumble founder Whitney Wolfe Herd recently made a bold (and unnerving) prediction that artificial intelligence will soon do the dating for us — ushering in a hellish future we never asked for.

“You could in the near future be talking to our AI dating concierge and you could share your insecurities,” the former Bumble CEO said at the Bloomberg Technology Summit. “And it could help you train yourself into a better way of thinking about yourself.”

But why even bother with failed relationships in the first place, when AI can just pair you up with the right partner?

“There is a world where your dating concierge could go and date for you, with another dating concierge,” she suggested.

“Then you don’t have to talk to 600 people. It will go scan all of San Francisco for you and say, ‘These are the three people you really ought to meet.’”

The concept, as she describes it, includes chatting with an AI bot who learns about you and about your preferences — then is unleashed on the world as your proxy to interact with other daters’ bots.

In Wolfe Herd’s mind, apparently, finding love isn’t a feature of human life, it’s a problem to be solved — and a process that should be streamlined as much as possible.

“That’s the power of AI when harnessed the right way,” she claimed of her dating concierge concept.

But is it really? Can something as inexplicable as the spark of human attraction really be boiled down to a string of 0’s and 1’s?

Already, AI has been trying to short-circuit the romantic process.

In 2023, Match — which owns Tinder, Hinge, and OkCupid — announced they were forming a coalition on AI, tasked with solving “key pain points” in the dating process.

One feature they floated was AI explanations of why you’re most compatible with a specific single.

In one hypothetical demo released by the company, a single on OkCupid is matched with Angelina, with the message: “Get ready for endless laughter with this witty charmer who shares your love for brunch, scary movies, and a laid-back approach to life!” Sounds, umm, enticing? 

According to a 2024 Norton poll, AI descriptions might not be such a turnoff for online daters, though.

The survey found 64% would use AI for a conversation starter on apps, 61% to develop their profile, 59% for dating coaching, 52% to write breakup texts, and 51% to go on virtual dates for them … like Wolfe Herd suggested.

Already, specialized platforms like LoveGenius, YourMove.ai, and DatingGPT promise to choose your best photos, write the bio most likely to get a match, and even compose messages for you.

But what happens when you get to the actual date — and there’s no AI Cyrano de Bergerac to whisper witty responses in your ear?

Singles are reportedly using AI for their sexting conversations, too, inspiring the term “auto-erect” — a spoof of “auto-correct.”

Artificial intelligence dating “aid” Cupidbot.ai is perhaps the worst of all.

For just $30, the service takes over your dating app — from matching to messaging and getting digits — without notifying you until you have a date all lined up. 

It seems like what AI is really trying to iron out of dating is our humanity. So, by that logic, why not scrub it out altogether?

Well that might be the future. New create-a-girlfriend platforms are like Build-a-Bear for partners.

“People are already falling madly in love with these bots as they flirt and share intimate secrets with them,” social psychologist Jonathan Haidt warned in his recent book “The Anxious Generation.”

Platforms like Fantasy GF let men pick a virtual girl’s personality (like innocent, caregiver, or temptress) and her career, from strictly heteronormative options like stewardess, boutique owner, and wedding planner.

They can also choose from a menu of outfits, including yoga pants, bikinis, lingerie, nurse uniforms, and even tribal attire, as well as less G-rated features — like body type, butt shape, and breast size (ranging, of course, all the way up to gigantic). 

It’s a nasty, sexist, hyper-sexualized future in which women are reduced to pixels.

Some experts fear it’s just a taste of a looming dystopia, especially as a generation of young men grow up with AI and fail to develop the necessary skills to land a real-life girl.

Haidt warns: “As they are implanted into ever-​­more-​­lifelike sex dolls and sex robots, an increasing number of heterosexual men may find … [a] mechanical girlfriend is preferable to the thousands of left swipes they get on dating apps, to say nothing of the social risk of approaching a girl or woman in real life and asking her out on a date.”

That’s the future Whitney Wolfe Herd and other tone-deaf techies are giddily leading us towards.

But will we let AI overlords colonize the human experience of love – and reduce us all to pixels too?